Tad's Turn Out No. 8

Hey, y'all! I hope everything is going really well in your life wherever you are. You know, I am going to be completely honest, I've been staring at my computer screen for a few days now wondering what to put here. I have some really great photos to share with you, but my thoughts are so jumbled all I can think of to write are things that are unrelated, rambling, and scattered. To be even more honest, parenting is exhausting lately. I keep having to remind myself that even when I am at my lowest, when I feel I have failed my son because I am working at this business, I am still so lucky that I get to be at home with him everyday. And he is so lucky that he wants for not when it comes to my attention, even though I will always feel like I am not doing enough. Isn't that the sweet and salty challenge of parenting? There is a wonderful thing happening, though, and that is chilly weather, which means Tad is not trying to pry off the various hats that I put on his head. It's the little things, people.

I was not meant to be in these photos. Thankfully, Jill tagged along, because the day we took these Tad was having a meltdown. If you look closely, he's half-laughing, half-crying. It's been kind of a rollercoaster of emotions over here. On an average day, he wants to throw things at me, yell, cry, whine, get into things over and over again after I've told him no, climb around the gate that guards the stairs and pull things from off the top of the counter. We are in that crazy toddler phase, and I can get so frustrated that I just don't know what to think of myself. I am fairly calm person, but why does this child of mine make me suddenly want to command a tiny army and then give up five seconds later? The other half of that average day often includes and over abundance of cuddles (more than ever before), lots of really paying attention to what others are saying and doing, playing more advanced games and taking long walks (which also include meltdowns), and falling asleep while eating. Like I said, exhausting! But we always make it back to happy by the end of day, no matter how tired we both become.

There are many days where I can't wait until the real vocabulary starts to pop out of him, where I can ask him questions and he will answer with a sentence instead of some mumbled syllables. I know that that is when the connection between crazy and upset will meet and become logic, but for now, it's time to just wait and remember to enjoy this little boy while he is where he is at now. Because there are so many wonderful changes happening now, too. I've said it before, and I will say it again, I am so opposite of this small child, but we are alike in so many ways as well. We are both determined and stubborn, but show it in different ways, and that's probably why we clash at times. He is determined to climb up the kitchen cabinets, and I am determined that he not finish his conquest. You know, meltdown. 

We're getting through it, and these days will be gone before long, and I will want to get back to them. I am so, so privileged that I get to experience them at all. Parenthood is like that, I suppose. One day you question your sanity and the next you want ten more babies just like the wonderful one you've got. I think I'll take those ten, but only if they're as amazing as the one I have.

xoxo Kayla

Tad's Outfit:  Grey Bonnet c/o Rain People | Fleece Lined Cape c/o Foothill Fawn | Moccasins c/o Little Pine Outfitters
You can read more about Tad's Autumn Capsule Wardrobe here and see all of the amazing small brands in it!